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Smile!
Posted on 2004.01.11 at 09:50
The dreams have been bothering me again. Asuka keeps telling me to not worry about them, it's probably just something from my accident a while back. I'm trying to trust her, but I don't think she understands what I'm dreaming about. I can't find it in my heart to actually tell her about it. She'd probably think I was going insane if she knew I was dreaming of killing people and actually.. enjoying it at times.

Maybe I'm just stressed out. Work has been pushing me hard at the moment as we have a client who's been very impatient with us as of late. The past few days have been wonderful in helping me relax though. Asuka's made sure to see to my needs and she made a delicious traditional meal last night. With both of us working, and her hours at the hospital so varied, it's often hard to get time together where neither of us are working. This weekend certainly has been a treat, and I'm afraid we probably won't be able to enjoy another like this for a while.

But those dreams are still bothering me. I wish I knew what to make of them, and I'm trying to believe my wife when she tells me it's probably just a reaction from the head trauma I suffered.

...

And I still don't even know why I had gotten so hurt in the first place. The doctors don't know, and neither does Asuka. And if they do know, then they're refusing to share the information with me. They just keep telling me to not dwell on whatever past I had and to work on creating a new life, a new world.

I can't help but feel that I'm missing something very important though. I wish I knew who I was before... Wish I remembered the life beyond what I have now.

I don't know. I think I'm just being overly paranoid that they're hiding something from me. I suppose time will tell, ne?

I've got to get moving though. Asuka wants me to do something with that katana. She wishes I would get rid of it, but I refuse. It's obviously been well-taken care of, though it disturbs me to know that someone had used such a fine weapon for more than just display. It's hanging above our bed at the moment, and I think I shall move it to the den where it won't bother her quite so much. It's important. I don't know how I know that... but it is, and I'll continue to take care of it.

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